Recovery
by nalimom
Summary: O'Neill helps Carter after her imprisonment on Fifth's ship


"Carter." Jack O'Neill said as he opened his front door. He thought she looked exhausted, which was probably to be expected considering all she had been through. "You OK?"

She looked at him for a moment, then shook her head.

He took a step back and motioned for her to come in. He followed her into his living room and waited for her to say something. She walked to the window and looked out at the birds around his feeder.

"That's a lot of birds." She said quietly.

"Yeah." He walked up next to her. "Nobody fed them while I was a popcicle." She watched her carefully trying to get a handle on what had made her come here. They had made avoiding being alone together into an art form. "I think they were happier than anyone to see me defrosted."

Sam turned to look at him. "You know that's not true." Their eyes locked for a moment.

"Right." He shifted uncomfortably, knowing she meant herself. The Aasgard." He said, breaking the contact. "That weapon came in handy." He walked to kitchen and she heard him open a beer. "Want one?"

"No thanks." She sighed and sat heavily on the couch. "I'm afraid it will put me to sleep."

He took a long drink from his Guiness and sat next to her. "No offense, Caster, but I don't think that would be a bad thing."

She smiled weakly. "I know I look terriblel."

"No." He said searching for a safe comment. "You look … real…nice."

She laughed. "Liar."

"So… wanna tell me what's up?"

She looked troubled as she tried to put her pain into words. "He's inside my head." She finally uttered.

"Carter, I know how bad it feels once the replicators invade your mind like that…"

"No, Sir, you don't." Carter protested. "What he did to me… trying to make me doubt everything I knew... using my own thoughts against me." She looked out the window again. "It was different from what was done to all of us…None of my thoughts or feelings were protected. He triggered… things I would rather not have remembered. He seemed to take pleasure in causing me pain. It took every ounce of strength I had to hang on to reality."

He slid closer, intending to put his arm around her, but, with the rush of emotion overwhelming him, he didn't think he could trust himself to stop there.

"It was so tempting to stay in the images he created. He awakened every horrible event of my life, every painful loss…" A picture of Jack lying in the medical quarters, close to death flashed into her mind. "He brought up every horrible thing I could remember and then he offered me something so different. So peaceful. He used my nightmares to make his fantasy more appealing. The house and the farm. Pete."

"What made you fight it?" He asked in a voice choked with emotion. "If it all felt so good, I mean."

She smiled weakly in his direction. "I knew it wasn't real."

"How?"

"I knew I would never have run away for my problems. You wouldn't have let me… no matter what." Her blue eyes searched his. "And then there was Pete." She shook her head. "I left Pete in this reality because I wasn't…I wouldn't risk hurting him again." She paused, searching for words, or maybe drumming up the courage. "I never felt for him the way I feel for… you." She rushed through the words. "It wasn't fair to any of us."

O'Neill sat in silence for a moment, then laughed under his breath. "Fair." The unfairness of their relationship haunted him daily.

Carter walked back to the window. "When I sleep, Fifth is there." She took a deep breath. "His hand in my head, violating me, trying to make me forget everything I lo… everything that's important."

He walked to her side. Neither spoke as two male Cardinals chased each other away from the feeder.

"When I started to let go, I would see you… frozen." Her eyes were distant, her mind back on Fifth's ship. "I would concentrate on how to safely bring you back to me." She closed her eyes and sighed. "He would release me. For a few minutes anyway. I think the intensity of my emotions was too much for him." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

O'Neill's blood was boiling at the thought of Fifth violating Carter over and over again. His hands were clenched into tight fists. He had thought about her being captured so many times since they had returned to Earth, but never with her standing in front of him, telling him, looking so haggard and drawn, obviously in so much pain. "I…" He began, but couldn't come up with the words. His hand was shaking as he reached out to touch her cheek.

"Jack…" She said as she leaned against his palm.

He kissed her forehead and pressed his cheek where his lips had been. Her hand slowly reached up to rest on the back of his neck, her fingers traced small circles in his close cropped hair. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he buried his face against her neck.

"When Daniel and Teal'c told me that you had been lost…" He looked into her eyes. "I wanted them to put me back in Antarctica." He stroked her hair. "When we saw your image in the Replicator signal…" He was lost for words.

Sam smiled tearfully and shook her head. She started to speak but he cut her off.

"It's no secret that I didn't have a whole lot to live for when I joined SGC."

"Jack." She whispered, shaking her head.

"You keep me going." His fingers toyed with her hair. "You're why I keep saving this planet." He leaned in and kissed her softly. "I want you to have somewhere nice to live." He grinned against her lips as she smiled.

"Thank you." She brushed her thumb across his lips, looking deeply into his eyes. She leaned into him and kissed him softly. At first it was a gently, exploratory kiss, but soon escalated into a passionate embrace, which left them both breathless.

"Carter…" Jack whispered as he tried to push her away. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"No, we shouldn't." She agreed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. "We really shouldn't." Her tongue teased his.

Jack lost himself in the feel of her, pressed against him, touching him, kissing him. He moaned as they lay back on the couch, kissing deeply. "You're exhausted." He said against her throat, as he kissed his way from her mouth to her top button. "I'm not sure we…"

"I need you, Jack." She climbed over him to straddle his lap, her mouth claiming his once again. "Please." She kissed him. "Don't ask me to leave."

He closed his eyes as her hand slid across his heaving chest. "You're sure?" He asked as his hands rested on her hips. "Really sure?" He kissed her, grinding against her and moaning softly.

She pressed back against him, claiming his mouth desperately. "I'm sure."

Suddenly, he stopped kissing her and guided her off of his lap. He stood slowly and pulled her to her feet. He took her hand and led her out of the living room and into the hallway. Sam's stomach sank when they approached the front door.

"I don't want to leave." She said quietly.

Jack smiled and continued down the hallway, past the front door and toward his bedroom. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right."

They took their time, undressing slowly and exploring one another until they thought they would lose their minds. When he entered her at last, it was slowly and deeply, as he held her gaze.

The feel of her, surrounding him, was so much better than he had ever imagined it would be. He fought the burning desire to quicken his pace, instead moving very slowly, feeling Sam respond beneath him. She moaned softly as she raised and lowered her hips to match his rhythm, her hands digging sensuously into his muscular back, her mouth trailing kissed along his neck.

"Harder." She whispered as electricity began to surge through her. Her toes curled and her fingers dug deeper as her body started moving of it's own accord. No sooner had Jack heeded her request than she felt the first wave of orgasm wash over her. "Oh, yes, Jack!" She moaned as he penetrated, faster, harder, deeper into her.

As her muscles clenched around him, and her body writhed beneath him, Jack lost all self control and drove harder and deeper, moaning loudly as he came into her. He collapsed against her, resting his head against her skin, listening to her heart as it pounded in her chest.

"That was… nice." He said when he had regained his breath enough to speak. He kissed her lips very tenderly.

Sam's arms encircled him as he kissed her again. "You really do have a way with words."

"Aw, shucks." He said as he slid next to her and spooned up close, his hand coming to rest on her breast. He nestled his face in against her neck and took a deep breath. "You smell nice."

"Thank you." She pressed back against him as much as she possibly could, enjoying the feeling of him next to her. "Jack…"

"Mmmmm…" She said sleepily against her ear.

"God you feel so good."

Jack wrapped his arm more tightly around her. "So do you. Now close your eyes and go to sleep." He kissed the top of her head. "You look like hell."

Sam smiled as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
